Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Prenatal Visit #4

Yesterday, I had another routine doctor visit, and I found out that our ultrasound scans were free of any abnormalities, and my AFP test came back negative... both very good pieces of news! The only addition to my appointment this month was a measurement of my fundal height (the external distance from the pubic bone to the top of the uterus - or fundus). The first time I said the word "fundus" to Mike, he thought it was pretty funny (and, admittedly, so did I - c'mon, we never really grow up, do we?). Anyway, despite my insecurities about my lack of a baby bump, my fundal height is right on track where it should be. So, on that note, I decided to focus on the good points of not having a round baby belly quite yet:

1. I only own 4 pieces of "maternity" clothing so far: 2 pairs of jeans, a black babydoll shirt (that quite frankly was cute, and I figured, 'heck, I am pregnant, why not'), and a white cami tank top (which, I swear to you, I picked up accidentally because it was on the wrong rack at Target with the other white camis).

2. I have yet to purchase maternity drawers. Although I have put my cute thongs in storage, so to speak, I can still wear most of my cute full-booty chonies.

3. Unsolicited advice is few and far between. Since I can pick and choose who knows I'm expecting, I haven't had the pleasure of a middle-aged woman stopping me in the grocery store to tell me I'm gaining too much weight and proceed to pick apart the contents of my shopping cart.

4. I have not been rubbed by a stranger like a genie bottle. Thank God! I think I would subject myself to an hour of unsolicited advice from strangers each and every day if it meant my belly would never be rubbed by one. That just freaks me out to no end!

5. I can still wear shoes that tie and paint my own toenails (although I've been slacking on the latter).

6. I can still shave my own legs.

7. The only thing getting in the way of seeing my feet are my boobs, and there's nothing unusual about that for me!


Poodle said...

Grocery store unsolicited advice reminded me of one experience I had.

I was craving whole milk for awhile. I mean, I'd drink a gallon a week. And I PREFERRED the "cream top" stuff from Trader Joe's. Oh man I'd POUND it (sometimes with Ovaltine).

One time when I was getting it, the checker lady was all "Is this any good?" and I said "Oh yeah it's just soooo creamy and rich and I'm just craving it lately!"

And she said "Well, you better watch it with the weight gain, my sister gained 60 lbs and she never lost it after her baby".

I was like "I think I'm doing okay ... I mean, I'm craving it."

But she gave me a face.

Um, eff you, lady. EFF YOU!

Annie said...

What the heck is wrong with people!? Seriously. What if you would have said back to her, "Thanks for the advice. Ya know, Rite Aid has zit cream on special this week, and you should really stock up. I had a friend in high school that let hers go, and now her face looks like the surface of the moon!"

Ben said...

come on up to my neck of the woods and let the 300 pounders with 4 little spawn give you advice in the grocery store!!! condom: $1. 4 little spawn: $$$$$$$$... you do the math.

kick the asses of those who touch you, and tell the others to go eff themselves. repeatedly. someplace very uncomfortable... like the back seat of a volkswagen...

Poodle said...

Toward the end I was zesty. I'm normally pretty non-confrontational, but I reached the end of my rope.

Just wait for all the "Isn't the baby here yet!?" crap.

Next time, I'm telling people my due date is like 2 weeks after it really is because I could NOT handle that.